We got so high we made milksteak
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
