You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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