sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I can't trust your balls anymore.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
