no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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