I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
