You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize