Dual....:-)
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
