Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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