Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
