dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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