There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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