it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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