I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
