I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
