And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize