I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Randomize