Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
