I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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