She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
