I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
