and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
This toilet bowl is my home.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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