very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
