no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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