All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
