So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
