How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
