after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just want nice things and good sex
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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