bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize