I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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