god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
