Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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