perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
