Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
