Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
