and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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