just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
