Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
