weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
