sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
