dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
