what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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