You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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