Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
