Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
