Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
