my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
