You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You ruined the universe
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
