Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
