Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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