Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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