You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
