we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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