Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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