4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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