Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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