Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
