he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
