there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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