just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you win again, gameday.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My ass is underappreciated
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
