Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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