I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
